How CBT Works
The aim of cognitive behaviour therapy is to assist you in becoming your best self. Life is full of challenges and ups and downs. CBT can teach how best deal with these. Learning about rational thinking means letting go of life-long habits of thinking in a very unbalanced way.
Learning Rational Thinking
Adrian was a successful bookkeeper. He had been careful with money and now owned three properties, bringing in nice sums of money.
He could not see he was successful. He saw it as ‘luck’ and coincidence that he had done well financially. He was very good at finding the dark cloud and the negative in any situation. He jokingly said: "If I had a penny for each time I beat myself up; I could go on holiday to the Bahamas every year!".
The first step was for Adrian to recognise the link between his unwarranted negative thinking and his low mood and depression. He then learned to question this type of thinking. The first example he brought to therapy was when he and his family went on holiday. Their flight was delayed for 3 hours.
Now this would be unpleasant for all of us, but for Adrian it lead to a full-blown sense of depression and despair. He would have gone straight home if his wife and children had let him: "There is no point in going on holiday now, it is all ruined".
The questions Adrian learned to ask himself were: is what I m saying to myself true, and how helpful is it to say it? The following step was learning to replace the unhelpful irrational beliefs with more realistic statements and practice using these in moments of depression.
Finally the last step was learning to behave in a way to support these new beliefs (Deliberately making small mistakes to underpin the belief: "Even if things go wrong, it does not mean they will continue to go wrong or that it is a disaster!".
Healthy and unhealthy negative feelings
This is an important topic for people troubled by feelings of anxiety. Often the fear of getting anxious again makes you extremely sensitive to any unpleasant feeling and you learn to go out of your way to avoid this (because you just know it will lead to another anxiety attack). As a result from your perspective all negative feelings have become unhealthy. This is of course not true. Sh*t happens.
Negative feelings like disappointment, irritation, apprehension, and remorse are helpful signs of something being not right. They invite problem solving. Avoidance of these mild and healthy negatives will lead to more trouble.
The therapist will help you to ‘be kind to yourself’.
You will learn to communicate and develop problem solving skills.
The therapist will coach you in a step-by-step programme to confront your fears